Are you wearing a VR headset (without realising)
Spoiler Alert: You probably are.
A couple of years ago I was riding a motorbike, feeling the exhilaration of the high speeds, and enjoying every second until I suddenly leapt into the air and was hurtling through the sky. Over fields and even the ocean, I landed on an aircraft carrier, and thanks to a carefully placed ramp, was able to jump back on land, and rejoin the race.
This was my first go on a VR game in an arcade, and I'll never forget it. I was instantly taken into another world that only existed in my mind, but one which my body was responding to as if it was real.
That's the magic of a VR headset, and the power of our imagination. Mark Zuckerberg has invested $50Bn into it, with a vision that people will literally be living in the Metaverse within a decade.
Whether that gamble will pay off remains to be seen, but it's a very real example of how we can live in our heads, with no connection to what's happening around us.
Thinking
When you’re living in your head, focusing solely on your thoughts about a situation, you're creating your own reality of how you think things ‘should’ be. Your boss should have realised that your idea was worth backing. It stresses you out, because in your head that's how things should be, and you literally believe that there's something wrong with the world (because your actual reality isn't like that).
You keep re-living it, going over and over things in your head, buying into the drama of it all - blaming your team mate/ manager/yourself. You may be in a meeting now but your mind is somewhere else. You're consumed by thoughts.
It's like you're living with a VR headset on.
It's almost impossible to talk to someone when they're playing VR (ask my kids), and it's the same when we're continuously paying attention to our thoughts about a situation, instead of what's actually happening around us.
2. Unthinking
First you have to realise you have a VR headset on. That can be done by being aware when you're getting stressed.
Then, you need to remove the VR headset. Once you've realised you're living in your virtual world, you need to get back into the real one around you. You can do this by taking a couple of deep breaths and really feeling your lungs inflate and relax. Then look at your hand. Not analysing it, or thinking about it - just observing it.
3. Syncing - getting back into the real world
Finally see if you can feel the inside of your hand, the blood moving through, and the energy inside it. You can do it with your arm, foot, leg, stomach. It changes the focus off the mind and into your body, giving a different perspective. It'll help you come back into your actual reality. As if you've taken off your VR headset.
Practise it a few times in different situations, and you'll soon feel a bit more calm, and little less stressed.
See how often you find yourself lost in virtual thoughts today. And then see if you can come back to the real world.