Did you think you were right about THAT dress? 🤯

White & Gold or Blue & Black?

You’ll probably know exactly what I’m referring to. 

That dress.

It was the meme that divided the world of social media, then continued to cause contention on talk shows, at workplaces and over the dinner table. Was it a blue & black dress or white & gold? 

In case you missed it, there was a picture of a dress that Cecilia Bleasdale posted for her friends to see before her daughter’s wedding, and some people saw it as a blue and black dress, and others clearly viewed it as white and gold.

7 years later and we’re no closer to consensus, and while several scientific explanations have been offered and peer reviewed, there’s no definitive answer as to why this happened. 

What do you think?

Credit: Cecilia Bleasdale (who bought the original dress to wear to her daughter’s wedding)

To me it’s a white and gold dress. 

Well more accurately, they are the thoughts I have when I look at the photo. I think I see a white and gold dress, but it may not be. It turns out that many more others think it’s a blue and black coloured dress. 

It’s also quite likely you thought it was strange the first time you realised that others saw it completely differently to you. Your mind may have even started to doubt itself - am I right or wrong? What am I missing? Or maybe there was no doubt and you were wondering how others could have got it so wrong? 

I personally just can’t see it as a blue and black dress, and neither can a lot of people. It’s not just the dress that divides people - do you remember the Yanny and Laurel sounds? Same thing - about half of all people hear Laurel, and others Yanny. Same sound - different experience. Check it out here and listen for yourself.

If you find it hard to accept that other people see the dress as a completely different colour than you, or hear Yanny instead of Laurel, that’s ok. They’re both great examples, of how our mind creates a reality that may be completely different to what others experience. Exactly the same photo and audio - completely different thoughts.

How easy is it for you to let go of the thought that it’s the colour you think it is? I don’t mean you have to believe it’s another colour, but can you just let go of the thought for long enough to really believe that others think about it differently? It can be difficult to do that, especially the first time you see it - and when you don’t realise that it’s not just them who thinks it and millions of others share their point of view 

It’s useful to be able to let go of the thought that you’re ‘right’ so that you can entertain the other person’s perspective.

If we’re having an argument with someone, it becomes so much harder to let go of the thoughts we have that support our point of view. But to live in a stressless world, we need to be able to let go of these thoughts, even if just for a moment. Then we are more likely to be able to see the other person’s point of view. You don’t have to agree with them, but if you hold on to your beliefs so hard that you are blinded by the possibility that there may be another perspective, it will just create more resistance. 

Try it for yourself, and see if you can let go of a thought. There are different ways to do this, and one is to first close your eyes, and just wait for a thought to pop into your head. When it does, see if you can notice it and say to yourself, ‘I’m noticing the thought that…. ‘. Then see if you can let it go, don’t hold onto it, and keep thinking about it, just let it drift away. I find it easier to take a couple of deep breaths and focus on that, and then the thought goes off into the background. There’s some more detail here, and more coming in future blogs, so sign up below if you’re interested in learning more about noticing and detaching from unhelpful thoughts.

The point here is that we need to be aware that we have thoughts that may, or may not, be ‘right’. If you want to maintain a sense of stresslessness, it’s helpful to be able to detach from these thoughts to get some perspective. 

So what colour was the actual dress? Well, it was a blue and black dress made by a company called ‘Roman Originals’. For those that see it as blue and black, you may think you’ve been vindicated that you were right. For those that see white and gold or something else - you may think it’s strange. 

Either way, they’re just thoughts. 

You don’t need to be ‘right’ to find a sense of stresslessness. In fact, it’s actually easier to feel that you don’t have to be right or wrong. 

What’s more important to you - being right or being at peace?