My dog Dexter will sit by the window and watch the world go by, but if a delivery driver approaches the door he starts barking to alert the house and warn the oncoming potential threat. Despite him seeing drivers every other day, and every day everything's fine, he instinctively prepares to keep everyone safe. The blood vessels in his mouth go red, and even though he's not going to attack anyone, he's on guard, barking, telling us there might be danger.
Dexter's reaction is a lot like our nervous system, which is designed to protect us. Our brain's main role is to keep us alive, so it's always looking for threats, always scouring the environment for something that could be a danger. Regardless of whether there actually is anything to worry about or not, if it thinks it is, it fires off a stress response, fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Most of the time we're not in physical danger though, so the thoughts triggering that response usually aren't as helpful as they think they are.
When the body's in fight or flight, your heart's racing and adrenaline's pumping. There's a lot of interference, but there's no point trying to calm your thoughts in this state, because the nervous system has taken control. Its priority at this point is to put you into survival mode. So if you're not actually needing to fight off an apex predator, your nervous system needs regulating before you can even begin to try and settle the mind.
It relates to the vagus nerve, which is essentially a cable running from your brain to your heart, and it's the body's main parasympathetic nerve, often called the rest and digest system. It's the counter response to fight or flight, and part of something called respiratory sinus arrhythmia. It's designed to calm you, and even though your heart rate rises slightly as you breathe in, it then falls more as you breathe out. A 2018 systematic review published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, which looked across the research on slow breathing, found it increases both heart rate variability and that rise and fall pattern, a sign the parasympathetic system is switching on. It's also been linked to measurable changes in the brain tied to emotional control and wellbeing.
So the good news is that there are evidence-based methods to calm your nervous system, which will help you get on with whatever it was you were doing before it kicked in.
A long, slow exhale boosts activity in the vagus nerve, which releases a chemical called acetylcholine that slows the heart rate down. This is exactly what you want to help your body feel safe, so you can get on with life. The more you do this, the more your brain learns that it is actually safe, and over time, your guard dog will stop barking.
Here's a simple way to put this into practice:
Box Breathing
1) Breathe in for a count of four
2) Hold for a count of four
3) Exhale for a count of four
4) Hold for a count of four.
Do this for about three or four minutes, and it will calm the vagus nerve.
Your mind is just trying to keep you safe, and helping it realise you are actually safe, is often all it needs to let you get on with life without feeling like you are always under threat. It’s not always easy though, so practice noticing when you have a heightened sense of anxiety or stress, maybe a tightening of the chest or nausea, and remember to practice Box Breathing.
If breathing exercises don’t do it for you, try going for a gentle walk in nature and slow your exhales a little.
Whatever works for you, keep practicing and you’ll notice that a nervous system reset can make your body feel safe again, and remove some of the interference that was clouding your day.